Friends

 

Beginning after The End

Sitting in front of same old computer, doing some stupid work and yeah sipping another cup of hot special chai I wonder where I am heading for ...yesterday second and final waitlist of SCMHRD was out my name didn’t figure in that as usual though there was no hope for that but yeah officially it got over. I started preparing for CAT in Jan 2005 and from there it was been long journey ..all weekends were spoiled because I had either had to attend some class or to appear in some Mock test.For one year while working in office I had only one aim to complete work and catch 6 PM bus to back home and after reaching home grab some material and start solving it be it simple multiplication or division or some standard 10th topic from maths or some English words which I knew will not be used by me any day.

While traveling in company bus I usually had flash cards with some strange words printed on it or may be I had copy of Economic Times editorial which informed about the latest economic topics though I was never interested in that but so was the drive of getting into good B school that I use to read not only newspaper but also some business magazine. In office also I always tried to steal some time and go through some DI test or some website for MBA preparation.
I denied all invitations to any party or any of the weekend plans just to study. I never visited my native place I missed family functions and I along with my beloved roommates made all kind of so called sacrifices just to be sure that we all make it to some good B school.

I struggled in Mocks and tried really hard to find my flaws and correct them I found and corrected some but some new were born and then I tried to correct them in a hope that when the real one (CAT) comes I will crack it.

It never happened and after taking entrance tests for every week for 3 months I managed just two calls IRMA and SCMHRD I prepared for GD\PI. IRMA I knew I had bad PI and will not make it so all hoped pinned to SCMHRD there I had perfect interview , GD and essay but to my surprise I didn’t got through.

So now here I stand and when I look back and see my one year of efforts and hard work has all gone in drain. All my efforts have left me with depression, frustration and rejection. I stand on the path of life and there is hardly any light to guide me, don't know what life has in store for me and my brain has complete blank there is hardly anything I can think off. I know its not the end of the road but certainly now journey will be on unseen and unknown passages.

I read again the ever inspiring poem IF which I have pasted in my cubicle and get some composure back and think to start again in some different direction but the fear of failure haunts me what if I fail again ? Then I think that everyone knows one day or other he will die but that doesn’t makes him stop living life I know odds are high for me failing again but do I have any option ? Not trying anything is again like failing? So should I start again the journey of struggle my minds warns me and my heart weeps but as the poem IF quotes "So hold on when there is nothing in you except the will which says HOLD ON!" yeah I can hear that faint bleak voice which tells me to hold on......in spite of all these loud noises of failures which I am accustomed to I still hear this voice clearly ..so I have to hold on not because I have tremendous fight back qualities but because I have no option not because I think I will succeed some day but because I know not trying is failing again ..... I know it will not be easy the failure have not yet sink in but life moves on so will I may be for another failure.......

Regards,
Deep

Selling Emotions..........

Its an old saying "Nothing sells like Flesh and Blood" but i differ here take a look at on going reality shows and that will confirm what I say . Last night I was watching Indian Idol. This show is not about searching singing talent in India its about cashing on human emotions whether it may be of viewers contestants anyone as long as they are lucrative they are used.

When last two contestant are left and everyone knows one of them will be kicked off our host realizes importance of this moment and understands that this needs to be cashed he firsts lists all the prizes that winner will be getting but adds one of them will be missing all this. This acts as catalyst in getting emotions out for all involved in this game. Then he/she turns to parents or kin of one of the contestants and asks what according to me is most stupid question to be asked. He asks how will they feel if their child is thrown out of competition? What does he and all other viewers expect as answer? Well we feel great and at the top of the world there can be nothing better in life then being thrown out of competition were prize money is in millions and fame earned cannot be accounted. Is this we expect answer...off course not everyone knows that anyone will feel disappointed dejected but why this stupid question its like asking will today there be sunset? Host ask this so as to provoke all kind of emotions out of viewers and participants he need to get people emotionally involved because this is what his show sells.
Just when he realizes that all are at high of sentiments he tries to announce who is being thrown out of show before that camera quickly rolls up on contestants, judges, kin of contestants making sure that those viewers who somehow managed not to get emotional finally get by looking contestant kins praying, crying. Host again pretend to announce the result but he knows he need to announce something more important yes a commercial break.

They return after so called short commercial break and after evoking few more emotions announces finally the looser. Its not over yet, they know public sympathy is with looser just now so lets cash this too they ask looser to sing for one last time. Rest of the contestant join the looser to console him and at the same time rejoicing that they are there for at least one more week.

Is this what we called entertainment ? we get entertain by watching others in pain or may be we empathize with the contestants and all our emotions are being cashed. Any reality show has same motto, aim to cash on viewers emotions. We are getting entertained by watching people loose something which is very important in life. Do we sympathize with them ? or its sigh of relief for us thinking "oh its not only me who is loosing there are others also". We cant be happy watching someone unknown who is not related to us win all accolades and money but yes we are happy watching someone loose, watching someone suffer, watching someone's dream being shattered......